Still “a unicorn” on paper. Spiritually, deeply tired.
*Not a real statistic. No orbs were harmed.
“Your last valuation was three years and one very different market ago. Nobody's updated it, and everyone knows why.”
Tweet this horoscope →The mystical fundamentals behind The Zombie Unicorn.
A 2021 TechCrunch article, still ranking on Google
Formaldehyde
Quarters since the last real update
The 2021 valuation, unchanged, allegedly
A new 409A
The signs the stars — and several failed cap tables — have opinions about.